Along with the coming of autumn, I feel like being reborn. After a slow, and painful death, the past four years seem long gone and I am shedding the remnants of my past . The starting over is always a struggle – one I often forget while living through the daily drudgery.
Even sans Turkey dinner and cranberry sauce, I still have so much to be thankful for.
I am thankful to know that there are kinder men, kinder than the men who cry and tell you they love you then betray you the moment your plane takes off. I am thankful that I have finally allowed myself the opportunity to be loved in ways I didn’t know existed. I am thankful for the failed relationships, for what I have learned even if they are overdue. I’m thankful that despite all the heartache and “psycho” things “love” made me do, I’ve emerged with more wisdom and grace.
I am thankful for my family, whose full out support for my unconventional dreams exceed society’s disappointment over my choice to veer from the traditional path. I am thankful that they dream with me, thankful for their vision.
I am thankful for friends who stood by me, even through painfully wrong decisions. Who have cajoled, persuaded, listened and allowed me to make my own mistakes. I am thankful for their confidence in my potential, their certainty of my success, even while I struggle to believe in myself.
I am thankful for the people I meet everyday, their stories, their character. I am thankful for the chance to be kind, to uplift and be uplifted in return. I am thankful to be part of their day as a positive force.
I am thankful to the world, the gods who have shown me time and time again that I am loved, that everything comes to pass, every mishap, every misstep, is never an accident if I choose to examine and live mindfully.
I am thankful to myself, for finally opening up, giving up bottled negative emotions and letting go of grudges, I am thankful that I have allowed myself to start healing. I am thankful to myself for finally accepting who I am.
Even the little things I am thankful for,
For hitting sales goals, pumpkin pies and the joy of whipped cream. I am thankful for big fluffy dogs with their moist nose and warm paws, I am thankful for the golden leaves that signal the rhythm of life and the passing of time. I am thankful for warm voices over the phone- a simple get well soon, raspberry tarts and lemon cakes left in the fridge with my scribbled name on post-it notes. I am thankful for socks and pineapple sweaters afforded by checks in the mail. I am thankful for paper bags and soft fabrics, for happy neighbours, the rain, good old mom’s cafe and beef noodle soup.
I am thankful for this life I get to experience, as dull as it can get, I am thankful for the opportunity to find beauty in the mundane and the pulse of life within the struggle.